A tale of two cities.....& two fests....& two companies....& all that jazz..!!! ( 25th Jan - 19th Feb '07) Vol. - 4

THE SECOND COMPANY...

The week following Pragyan rolled by uneventfully (often confused with "peacefully")..& with "The World is Flat" getting pretty dull after the chapters on the "The Ten Flatteners of the Modern World"..(Well...what else could I expect from a guy who declared that the world was flat..& was in fact rejoicing at his preposterous claim..?!?! :O)..I turned to the Inheritance trilogy with "Eragon" & "Eldest" proving to be the closest new read which came to having me hooked to it since the harry potter series...(Hail Argetlam.!!!)

On 5th Feb...I got a mail from a guy in Technip Abu Dhabi saying that he had received my CV from our coll's placement dept. & was very impressed with my credentials & "wanted me on board" their group...after a telephonic interview.
Hmmmm....flattering indeed...but was it again gonna deceive to leave me with nothing to smile about..??
The telephonic interview was eventually scheduled for 11 AM on Sunday, 11th Feb....which was further confirmed by a call from the guy who eventually took my interview...
A frantic search of all petroleum-related books began on esnips ( why was it that a lot of stuff that i "studied" during the 5th sem were startin to make sense only now..??).
The telephonic interview was taken by the same guy who had mailed & called me earlier & this is what happened...

Me: Good morning sir..
Him : Goodmorning Shubhankar...how are u doing..??
Me : Blah-blah (Hmmm...actually I dint blah all that much...just told him I was doing gr8)
Him: So...howz the weather there..??
Me: ummmm....Its pleasantly warm out here (Ya rite...lets take a walk in the park...duhh..!!!)
Him :Oh then it must be a great place...!!!
(Yup...this place is great...when I came I was told it hadnt rained for 2 years...next year we get cyclonic rains in May when it was supposed to be dry..we then had your usual-next-door Tsunami...& the year after that..it rained so much that trains & buses were closed to & from Trichy...yup..Couldnt have imagined anything better..!!)
Him :I am very impressed with your CV...especially your academics...
Me :Thank u sir....blah-blah......& that is why/how I manage to get good grades inspite of hardly spending anytime studying...
Him:( Sounding like this was a first for him) Ohhh..!!! Thats very impressive...!!! Hmmm...so u got AIR 665 in AIEEE...then why did u choose chemical engg..???
Me: blah-blah...
Him : Oh very good..!!! (Arey sab kuch ke liye "very good" kyun kar raha hai maamu..!?!?)
Him :So...whats the objective of applying to our company..??
Me : (aise ich yaar...socha tere saath thodi long-distance timepass karloon...!! :D) blah-blah...
Him : Thats very nice...are u sure she only told u good things about us & nothing bad..???
Me :Yes sir..(ab phir se poochega tho mein tujhe confuse kar dunga..!!)
Him : Good...so lets start off with some technical questions now..Whats your favourite subject..??
Me: Petroleum engg sir..(Plz....dont fail me now...pretty please..!!!)
Him: ahaan...what in petroleum engg..??
Me : blah-blah....
Him: But what about Fluid Mechanics, Thermodynamics & Heat Transfer...arent u confident in those subjects..???
Me: Yes sir I am (shit..!!! should have read those..!!!!)
Him: Fine then we shall discuss those for the time being..
( Great...just great...the 2nd time in successive interviews that my choice of fav subject has been made redundant...)
Him : Ok...So i have a natural gas & water-vapour mixture whose critical temp is.....blah-blah...
Me :(After a gr8 deal of arbit farting around with half-correct & sometimes absurd guesses) Sorry sir...I dont know this...
Him :What..?? You donno this..?!?! This is supposed to be a very important concept in thermodynamics...!!!!!
Me : Errrr....Hmmm... (Yes...!!! Maine pehle question me hi apni m** c**dwa li..!!!)
Him :Ok take that as homework...lets have another question now.....

(And then followed a series of high-funda technical questions on hands-on application...I surprised myself by answering most of em correctly to which my interviewer would promptly respond with "Excellent..!!! Very good indeed..!!" & a couple or so where i gave half-correct answers to which he would ask me to note it down as "homework"....& probably for the first time I felt that I wasnt perhaps doing injustice to that CGPA of 9.43 which rested proudly on my CV..)

Him :(After about 40 mins of questions...) Hmmmm...I can go on like this with more questions...But that will be enough...I am satisfied.
Me : Hmmmm...( Satisfied boletho..?? :-| )
Him: How do u think u performed in the interview..??
Me: I think I could have done better..But nevertheless, I think I have done fairly well...
Him : So do u think u will be selected..??
Me : I hope I am selected sir (With as much earnest anticipation I could salvage in my voice)
Him : Ok, I will be honest with you...You have been shortlisted..!!!!
Me : (What..!?!? Thats it..!! OMG..!!!) Ohhh..!! Thank you sir..Thank u so much..!!
Him : Wait...I just said you are shortlisted...this aint a final confirmation...
Me : ( WTF..!?!? Dont temme I have to "wait" through this too..!!!) Hmmm...
Him : I still need to interview 3-4 more students in IITX & so I cant finalize the results right now...
Me: Is there any area of mine you think I need to work on..??
Him : No no...I am very impressed..You are just fine...The fact that you are only the 2nd person shortlisted after I interviewed about 12 across diff colleges shud tell u that....& I think most probably u will be getting the offer from us too...
Me : (Hmmmm....Now this sounds promising...) Hmmmm...Thank you sir.!!!!
Him : And you should def think about joining us & not BPCL...as you already know...the pay is very flattering...Abu dhabi is a great city...95% of the people here are indians...our work-culture is gr8..the work is...blah-blah....
Me: (arey bhai mujhe maloom hai...apna sapna tho money money hai..!! :P ) Yes sir..I certainly shall...thank u very much...
Him : Right....then that shall be all Shubhankar...thank u very much...

& So...that was that...& hey..I had never felt so good after any interview yet.. & boy oh boy..I had to wait it out for the results for this one too...wait..wait...wait...

With the interview done...a week of arbit cycle tests beckoned...with my schedule unchanged as always...after all...I dont have time to spare from my "busy" schedule for lesser events like cycle tests..but then again...being the "studious, hardworking & sincere" student that I am...I managed to "devote" 30 mins-1 hour for ever exam just before the scheduled time...(Which again made me wonder why I had been doing night-outs till the 5th sem when just an hour gave me the same grades...!!!)

And then...it happened...on 19th Feb... I got a mail from the HR of Technip...& it said...."Welcome to Technip Abu Dhabi..!!!!!"

Finally....it had happened...No more was I just so near & yet so far from where I wanted to be & what I wanted to acheive....No more was I to be the subject of commiseration..& No more am I the man who "could have" or "should have"...
& to all those d**kheads whose only ambition in life has been to belittle what I am capable of & to screw their way into my life...I have nothing to say to you...But with deep reverence...I shall just ask you to "GO FUCK YOURSELF...!!!!!"

The sense of happiness that engulfed me thereafter was... as divine as Shreya Goshal's voice,...as poignant as Adnan Sami's "Tera Chehra"...as pleasurably intense as the realization of one's first love must be... as completely overwhelming as the fulfillment of Darcy & Elizabeth's love for each other in Pride & Prejudice...and as unforgettable as any of the myriad climaxes of Shahrukh Khan's love sagas...

Was I ever heard complaining about my college...???? How could I have been so unfair...????
So what if my college was located 20 kms from any reasonably established civilization..?? (OMG....& I am not supposed to complain for that..!?!? :O )
So what if my college had 90% males & 10% "non-males" (officially listed along with the much rarer species of "females")..??? A couple of them had still proven to be much more reliable pals than some of the b*****ds around...
So what if the food in my college mess sucked ass & was so bad that even dogs refused to eat it..?? It was still made outta our anna's hardwork & sweat (Hmmmm...wonder how much more of their sweat they would need to put in until it can serve as a substitute for salt)

& then....where else could a guy keep cribbing about the opportunities that should have been his...& yet end up with the world at his feet..?? Yes...this could be no Deja Vu...I havent seen heaven yet...I am on the heaven on earth...NIT Trichy..!!! :-)

& GOD....even though I continue to refuse to acknowledge Your existence... I am forced to admit that much of what has transpired conspicuously suggests divine intervention...I shall no longer complain about Your decision to keep me outta ITC & keep me waiting in Schlumberger...coz I now have every reason to believe that is what facilitated my achieving something much bigger. I now know that you have kept me aside for very big things far beyond what I may begin to comprehend as of now...All i have to say to be honoured with this privilege is.."Thank you GOD..!!" :-)

And I give You my word...that from now...whenever hardships present themselves...I shall not grimace with the thought that my existence has been god-forsaken...But welcome them with my winsome smile & rejoice that You have considered me worthy of being tested by Your time & patience...
& that...O Lord..Shall be my humble gift to You for all that You have bestowed upon me & allowed me to acheive...



~~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A tale of two cities.....& two fests....& two companies....& all that jazz..!!! ( 25th Jan - 19th Feb '07) Vol. - 1

3:15 PM ....25th January, 2007

The screen of the large projector finally came to life with pictures of an uninhabited arctic perma-frosted Tundra...followed by a vast expense which seemed to show nothing but the great blue sea...If the sight of ocean 2-miles deep in water wasnt intimidating enough...The next sequence shows an endless desert which appeared to stand magnificent & yet unconquered by man...If the absence of life was unsettling...We next moved to a rainforest..thick with life to the point where even frogs seemed to have to measure themselves to see if they fit into the less-than-humble dwellings nature had chosen for them...
& then the message goes..
"Here, you have no companions...no friends...nothing to see you through except your own determination..!!!"
( The actual content may have been different..tried my best to reproduce atleast the context in exactness..!!)

But why am i boring you with what obviously is a flick of an episode of a show outta NGC or Discovery Channel..???
The answer: I am NOT..!!!!
These were in fact the opening sequences of Schlumberger's pre-placement presentation at my coll..!!! & as expected....these were more than enough to frighten the wits outta even poeple who had thought of braving the elements for the sweet smell of dough...
After being terrified through 2 hours about how we would have to work in conditions such as 20,000psi...120 degrees C etc etc( ya rite..of course they love their employees..!! :D )...I found myself being shortlisted for the GD & PI...
With an absurd looking Schlumberger tag on my shirt...I kept roaming arnd the hostel & octa to spend the time away until my GD...meanwhile convincing people that the tag dint make me a volunteer of some exhibition....like...Duhhh...!!!!!!!!!
After waiting for what was wayyyyyy past the time a Gd for the first batch of shortlists should have ended...we finally got to know that it was not just a GD...but a "Group-activity" session(whatever that meant.!!) we were expected to brave for no less than 2 hours ..!!!!!!!!!
Once inside Citius (thats the name of the room where the "GD" was held)...hmmmm...the GD on getting your team to survive & lead them from the "dark side (sounds like the Immortal Darkseid doesnt it..?? :P) of the moon" to survival & safety on the basis of the precedence of 15 articles...dint seem all that bad...getting to rank it on your known...discussing (to be read chaating) the survival strategies with ur sub-group mates...& then trying to convince the Schlum guy ki...."Dekho bhaiya...aise hi karna padega warna moon pe humari m** c**d jaayegi..!!!!!!"
By the time the 2 hrs were done...I couldnt help leaving with a feeling of wanting it to continue a lil longer...after all..it wasnt everyday that u realized that magnetic compasses wudnt work on moon coz it dint rotate...or that pistols,signla flares, matches etc wudnt work coz of the absence of atmosphere...nor would solar-powered heating units,radios etc etc work on the dark side of the moon coz....Duhhh..!!! We are on the dark side(I just love the way darkside/darkseid sounds.. :P)remember..?!?!? :D

Luckily (or was it unluckily..?? who cares..?!?) I made it to the final 7 bakras who had to brave the night for the "Schlum Interview" (*boom boom*)..After waiting for what seemed like an eternity...I finally got my turn at 12:10 AM....
The panel that faced me was an Indian guy (I), a young-looking lady from BITS (W), & a Venezualan dude (V)
Here's what unfolded :

Me : Goodmorning Sir, Goodmorning mam (cheeky smile on my face)
W: ahaan..(bearing a very very smug expression..!! :P) Good morning..!!
I: OMG..!!! Is it past 12 already..!?!? (looking at his watch)
(abey dhakkan...2 ghante ka ppt aur 2 ghante ka GD lagayega tho kya der nahi lagega..!?!?)
Me: (Fitting myself into a chair after being asked to)
W: So, whats your name again..??
Me: Shubhankar Bhattacharya mam..!!!
W: aaah....so you are a bengali then..??
Me: Yes (*What else did u expect me to be..!?!? Ethiopian..!?*)
I: okay shubhankar...temme something about yourself which is NOT in the CV...
Me : (*tho CV kis liye maanga phir...!?!? Ghanta maraane ke liye..!?!?*) Yes sir...I was born in..blah-blah...blah-blah.....
I: (looking as if he had been abruptly brought to attention) Whats your GRE score..??
Me: I dint write GRe...
I: Whats your CAT score..??
Me: (without missing a beat) I dint write CAT sir (*Of course not, never even gave it a thought...Btw...what was that exam which I wrote on 19th Nov'06 & got 99.26 %ile in..??*)
I: Then where are u placed..??
Me: BPCL sir...
I: Hmmmm...So u did ur summer internship in ITC...are u the one who got the PPO..??
Me: Yes Sir....But i turned it down..!! (*of course I got the PPO from ITC...& then rejected it na..?? :D *)
I:What..!?!? But why would u do that..!?!?
Me: I wanna make a career in the Oil & gas industry
I: Why Oil & Gas.??
Me: Blah-Blah....
W: But ITC is such a lucrative option..!!!!!
Me: (Acting like my values cudnt bear so much indifference) No...I see a very lucrative future in Oil & Gas..& thats what I wish to be a part of..!!! (Cough Cough..!!!)
I: So why do u want to work with Schlumberger..??? (*Its so comical to see these guys pronounce the finishing akson with the best flair they can attempt*)
Me: Blah-Blah....
I: & what if we dont take u..???
Me: Blah-Blah
V: (*OMG..?!?!? the Venezualan finally decided to talk..!?!?) Whath plaans do u haaf afther 5 eears...???
Me: I dont wish to plan for anything beyond 2-3 years at a time...Blah-Blah...
V: No...but evveeryvone haas some dreams....no..?? You must be wanting a beeeg house...with loths of money...with a beeeeutiful wife...& loths of keeds....yes..???
Me: As of now....its not money that matters to me...its the skill sets that I acquire...blah-Blah...
(*Silly boy....Did u think I applied to Schlumberger because it offers the biggest package on campus by a huge margin..?? Of course not..!!!! It is beacuse...I like to stay trapped in inhospitable conditions where survival itself is a challenge...& checking out lovely looking babes..well...u might as well...check out orkut & p***y for that..!!! Got that Mr. venezualan..??*)
V: (Silently looking at me with a look of new-found respect..)
I: ahem...so whats your favourite subject..??
Me: mass transfer sir...
W: But thats a core chemical engg subject...we dont have any chemical enggrs here
I: No probs...we will just ask u general engg tech
(*saale...phir wohi nautanki..!?!? phir fav subject poocha kis liye..!?!?*)
I: Can u draw the circuit of a torch for me,..??
Me: Err...I have never read that sir...(*Darn it..!!!! yahi poochna tha kya..!?!?*)
I: No probs...why dont u try..?? I am sure u ll get it...
Me: Hmmm....(showed him an elementary circuit consisting of a cell..a bulb & a switch)
I: Hmmm...good good...Now what happens if I give it a 27 V supply..??
Me: (Looking really flustered)
I: Ok then lets move on...plz explain to me the working of a hand pump..!?!
Me: (*Wtf is going on here..!?!?)Errr....I havent studied that either sir...
I: No...give it a try...
Me: (Drew some arbit system like a 4-stroke engine & gave my own arbit fundaes on its working)
I & V : Hmmm.....
I: Ok then...temme one thing that u liked most during our ppt & selction procedure...& one thing that u did not like
Me: Blah-Blah...
I: Ok then..is there something that you would wanna ask us before leaving..!?!?
Me: blah-blah
I,V&W :(after giving the answer) Ok then Shubhankar, nice talking to u...bbyee...

Hmmmmm....I looked into my watch as I came outta the room...it was 12:35Am...definitely not an interview to remember...the fatigue outta the long wait & the un-earthly timings had made it a below-par performance...
Neverthless....wait karke result sun lene me kya jaa raha hai..??

& the result finally came at 1:30 AM..."B--- gets the offer from us...While Shubhankar is on waitlist for now...We shall get back to you hopefully with a confirmation in a couple of months or so.."
Waitlist..!?!??! What the bloody F**K..!??!?!?! I guess something blew in my system upon hearing the news...& my eyesight went hazy & my hearing also became distorted...Fortunately, The Schlum junta never realized it....& they quietly made an exit in the early hours of the morning...
& now that this enormously painful ordeal was done...what am i to make of it..!?!??! Why did it have to be me to bear the screwed-up consequences of a waitlist..!??!?!
OMG...all those horrible memories...all those that I had buried under the thought that "Life is peaceful"...they were back...& I was left to wonder whether life was indeed peaceful....
Now I neither had the right to celebrate with total abandon...Nor did my miserable providence allow me to even cry my sorrows out...
Why had I always had to face such anomalies..???!?!?
Why was I the ITC summer intern who got a gr8 feedback from his guide...but yet did not get the PPO..??
Why did I get 99.26 %ile in CAT & yet end up with no calls..!?!?
Why was I good enough for the Schlumberger junta to praise me...& yet good enough only to deserve a waitlist..??
Why....oh Why...was I always so close to greatness...??? & yet...so painstakingly far..???

The whole of my night was screwed outta any possible sleep with miserable thoughts like these which..as Ram would put it "raped the happiness of my life"....

With morning giving me a chance to once again bury myself in the comfort of Octa...which if not anything else, would atleast allow me to vent my anger, sadness & frustration with some semi-sadist means...
Shyam's call in the morn also reminded me that I had a decision to make...whether to stay disappointed & gloomy...& spend my time in my room....Or pretend that "life is peaceful"...& try to go to Chennai..to watch the Ind-Wi match...& have a blast at Saarang...
Some cheapskates had the nerve to say Congrats where an "All the best" was in order...some m****rf****rs even had the audacity to ask for a treat..(I made a mental note to make sure these guys never get any treat 4m me when I see better days)
It was then that I made up my mind...if not anything else...I would atleast get to escape these asols who make me feel more miserable with their "congrats" & Saarang never did me any harm in any case...
& So i booked my seat in KPN's brand new AC sleeper bus to Chennai...& boy oh boy...this was something new..2 sleeper berths joined together..?!?!?! what if it happens to be a guy & a gal together...??? Hmmmm....& whats this..?? curtains to give yourself the luxury of not becoming an audience to perverted peeping tomboys..?!?! Maaan...if there was ever a bus which gave a frust male the chance to get laid with comfort....this had to be it...!!!!!!!
Unfortunately...the berth(which in fact resembled a comfy bed) attached to mine belonged to a balding guy with a Goatie...!!! (Hmmphhh...!!!!)
As I strected on that amazing bus that night...I realized...that maybe I was being unfair to myself...maybe life was indeed peaceful....after all...My talents hadnt gone unnoticed...Even the most pessimistic would have to agree that I had atleast a 50% chance of getting the confirmed offer from Schlum....Besides, this now also gave me the option to explore other offers coz the waitlist didn't count as my 2nd job...
what the heck....why shud i complain..?? Tommorow I was gonna be in Chennai...I was gonna watch my first ever ODI at Chepauk stadium...I was gonna be witness to Saarang...I would get to see....not non-males..But drop-dead gorgeous babes all around...yes....I told myself that if the big dude up there is/was testing what I am made of, I may yet see better days when He is done...Life...for the time being atleast..was still peaceful..!!!

It was around 4 Am on 27th Jan..& though sleep had never dated me since the night of 24th...It was with these pleasant thoughts that I drifted into a state of pleasant half-consciousness......

(To be Continued..)