When Cows Attack..!!! - Part 1

Cows..!??!
I have gotta be outta all the freakin intellect I am so proud of..!!! How the hell can I have the nerve to follow up posts on Fests, Interview experiences, p***yish tuff, social enlighteners & even wannabe dark posts with..*dare I say it*...Cows..?!?!?! Isn't that whats on your mind now..??

But before u think of me....Take my word for what it is...This isn't the bullshit it literally appears to be (Or atleast...it isnt altogether boring ) Those of you who have known me closely for the last couple of years or so...Will know that a post on "Cows" just had to make it to my blog sooner or later...As for the others...Read on to know about the four letter word that has become , to me, one of only the three things that I genuinely fear (The other two are confidential for now) the most dreaded of them all....the four-letter word that is...COWS..!!!!


Of course, Cows weren't always so intimidating to me...Before I had left to college ..Cows remained what they were always taught & believed to be...Calm, Quiet & peaceful creatures who had their own languid of going about their daily routine which always put you at ease. For that matter, cows remained no big deal for the best part of my first 2 years in college. Agreed that at times cows outnumbered Humans in my college campus (Who am I kidding..?? They dint just outnumber us students "at times" they were always in majority from day one of my stay in college..!!!! ) but they never got the attention they so rightfully deserved.

But then...times began changing....& there was something inherently "different" about the cows we had in my college, something which, in the beginning seemed like an ordinary tendency for any cow...However, when I tried to try out a few experiments on cows elsewhere in different cities, I found that results varied widely, & in some cases the behaviour which was so prominent in the cows of NITT was entirely absent in the cows elsewhere...

So what was so unique about the cows on my campus u ask..??
Well...nothing much really...Just that they could do anything for PAPER..!!!! And when I say anything...Boy oh boy..do I ever mean it....they will do just about anything...Fight each other horn & hoof, charge at the nearest pile of paper within their radius of visibility (Of course, their uncanny precision at times suggests to me that they possess an extraordinary additional sense to satiate their appetite for paper) & even... have a showdown with the innocent guy (I have never seen a gal face this...so wont assume to the contrary...I guess they have enough issues with dogs & crows & dont need to be reminded of cows as well ) who had chosen the wrong time to be caught with any kinda paper in his hand....

The most infamous of the paper attacks ever was without a doubt, the one (or was it two ?? whatever..) occasion when a Cow took the liberty of relieving a guy of his lab record by making a meal outta it just because he dared to believe that leaving his record on his cycle stand while he was having lunch would save it from the wrath of nature. Perhaps he wasn't wrong...since when did cows gorging on paper become an act of nature..???
Unofficial reports (Of course they would be unofficial....What "official" news medium did u expect in a campus..?? ) say that the next day...the scene in class when the age-old "The Cow ate my book" excuse became,…well...much more than an excuse,… was one of the most precious class time moments of my batch..!!!

Of course...cow attacks for paper aren't as rare or even as extreme as the above incident suggests...In fact, its a way of life at NITT... Everyone who has a puff or a pastry in the Bru snacks shop and/or Pearl tea shop and/or Jade tea shop knows that you are in for seriously big trouble if u dont get rid of the paper saucer or whatever it is that lets you hold your food,in a hurry...& if u are having tea/coffee/soup in the ultimate gourmet dish for all cows...the paper cup...You better always bear in mind that the paper cup is NOT your property...and has to be immediately offered to the cows to sustain the peace treaty that has been existing between cows & students for ages.
Anyone who has the affront to keep the paper cup for himself or even keep holding it for a minute longer than the maximum allowable time shall thereby be at the mercy of the cows who may choose to do as they please with him...as people whose asses has been poked into by (luckily) not the very sharp horns of our cows shall testify (Agreed that the blows weren't hard...But it still would have hurt..!!! )

Those of you who think that it is perfectly normal for a cow to like paper just because paper are pretty much "processed wood fibre"..Then think again, coz I have tried offering cows in Hyderabad & Kodaikanal, paper while they were eating grass (To determine which one they prefer)...& a few cows sniffed at the paper, some licked it and just took a bite and then left it, and quite a few (Especially those gigantic Kodai cows) didn't even bother with the paper and gave me a look which suggested "Get a life kid...you think I will ever eat this @$$wipe..?!?"

But lets return to talk about the mutant freaks, which are called “Cows” at the NITT campus....
Often...they would look for paper in the most unexpected of locations...For instance, one fine day..I found a cow always staying annoyingly close to me even though I deliberately did not take tea to avoid the same coz of paper cups...& then my junior told me..."Its coz of the slam book that u are carrying..!!!"
Whoa...It chases the paper in a closed slam book too..?!?!
Now that is some desperation..!!! Come to think of it...that was probably also the reason why cows also found my cycle so much more interesting than those of the others coz I had retained some of the original paper cover so that I could use it as an identification....Huh...talk about demand for food..!!!!

But then again...There are times...when Cows become too complex to understand or describe...when things go beyond a mere excessive appetite for paper.... resulting in events that become inexplicably entangled in memory...

& That is what shall form the concluding sequel to my post(s) on COWS..!!!!

……………Stay tuned coz there is lots “Mooooooooo”re to come !!