the same words escaped my mouth yet again on just another midsummer nightmare of a day in Trichy..."Dei...!! Dont tell "bad words" da...!!" said my thambi friend...
"Huh..?!? dont tell "bad words" aa..?? WTF is that supposed to mean..??"
" See...you are once again using "bad words".."
" Abey bh***di waale...!!
If you don't tell me what these "bad words" are that u are talking about... then how the f**k am i supposed to stop using them..!??!?!" No da... you are using all these words like F**K & all too much these days... its not good manners...i think u should control using such "bad words""
" O B***nc**d..!!!
So according to u "F**K" is a bad word...?!? Then u will probably ask me to stop using other "bad words" like "m**d*rc**d","b***nc**d","ch****ye", "bh***di waale","a$$hole" etc also then..???"
"Yes da... It is very offending...You are using these "bad words" all the time...sometimes it is ok in private conversations between friends...But you are using it everywhere & for everything"
"..and whats wrong with that..??"
"Dei... come on...There is something called "manners" that we are supposed to follow...You are even using so many bad words like "m****rf***er" in ur blog itself & asking others to come and read your posts..Its so disgusting...It offends me a lot.."
"Dude...WTF is wrong with u..?? get a grip on yourself.. This is pretty common now... Dont u think u are over-reacting..??"
"No da....Please..dont use such language when u are with me.. I cant stand it anymore"
"OMG...I dont believe this..!!!"
"Dont believe what da..??"
"You remind me of someone familiar..!!!!"
"Really..?? who da..??"
"You remind me of.....ME...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
" What the F**K are u saying da..?? How can i remind you of yourself..???"
"Heyyyy...u just said F**k man...Thats a "bad word"..!!"
""Abey that just slipped out of my mouth da... But u were kidding about me reminding u of yourself na..??"
" No dude... I wasn't..!!"
" What...?!?!?!?! OMG.... How can this be..!?!?"
"Dude... Just chill out... take a deep breath... & relax"
"Huh..??!?" (With a look that said.."Have u lost your b*lls"..!?!?
)" Buddy... Today I am gonna tell u a remarkable story... which is gonna enlighten you about so many complex things about life... u will learn so many things from me... just like I once did from another person"...
Yes indeed people...for any of you who thought that this conversational is/was fictional or borrowed from somewhere else or even inspired...Nopes...It aint none of that...This is 100% fact and/or reality (as have been all my posts thus far)... and so too is the story that I told my "virtuous" friend which I shall now share with u...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This story takes u back in time to July 2004, not long after I had entered my new room on the top floor of Diamond Hostel... where I now slept with (well ya...room-mates do sleep together..dont they..!?!?
) Parijat, Prashant Jadia & Prashanth (names retained to facilitate sublime flow of thoughts...& in the case of NITTian readers... to prove the truth of this post) although we just preferred to call the second Prashanth "Peanut" (Don't ask me why)...Back then... I was called "pure" by my batchmates... No, I don't mean purely vile...But purely pure
..(Ya rite... Duhhh...!!!
) People who now know me as a guy who can't make a sentence without some gaali or the other filling in as a fullstop or comma, would probably not believe it when I say that not only had I not used sentences without any gaali(s)...But I was yet to utter a single gaali in my life...!!!!!!!!!
All that would leave my lips would be an extremely stray "f**k" if I genuinely meant some serious emotional and/or physical damage to the recipient of my gaali... or the now kindergarten "idiot", "stupid" etc etc....
So we now move to that evening... i was lying in bed...reading "Prodigal Daughter"..(a book which, I now realize, I never managed to complete
)..while Jadia was in his bed reading the latest Digit magazine (yup,each one of us thought the other was more geeky!
)Parijat strutted into the room with all the air that you could expect a thespian to carry about him...ready to pronounce something important...
"Oye M**d*rc**don..!!!! Chalo lets have dinner at canteen tonight.!"
"Dude...enough is enough..!!!
" was my response.."Exactly...I have also been waiting to say the same..!!" Jadia added...
"WTF are u guys saying..?? I dont understand..." muttered Parijat
"I will tell u what we are saying...we are fed up of having u call us m**d*rc**d every single day & night for absolutely no reason at all...!!!"
"We never give u any gaalis..& yet u keep calling us M**d*rc**d every now & then" was Jadia's contribution to the situation.."
After we had obliged him generously by showering all the hostility we could offer our roommate (who was otherwise of course, our good pal)..It was now Parijat's turn to begin Round 2...
"Right...so now lemme ask u guys.. If you had to give gaali(s) to someone, would u go & give it to a stranger..??"
Jadia looked at me
and realized that we were in agreement... "No of course not...!!!!""Glad that u realized that...So would u then go to an enemy of yours you are not on talking terms with & give him a gaali..??"
"Nope....that would be highly unlikely" came the expected reply (But where's he leading us to with these questions..??
)"So...Can u tell me that if u had to pick a person...or lets say a handful of people u had to give gaalis to... who would they be..??"
Hmmmm.... Now this was an interesting question... never had given it a thought before... Who would I swear at if I had to..???
"Let me tell you the answer if you haven't realized yet...." declared Parijat as if he knew all that was happening like the palm of his hand.." You would first abuse your closest friend(s)...!!!!!"
"What..!??!
But thats preposterous...!!! How could u think of coming up with such a thought..!??!"voiced the two of us...still figting valiantly on the side of "virtuosity""Dudes ... Get real... Tell me when have u guys used gaalis so far in ur life..??"
"Hmmm...I suppose when we have had a fight with someone...or someone has hurt us real bad.."
"And who do u fight with...?? & who has the capability to hurt with what he says or what he does..?? Could it be a stranger or an indifferent enemy..??"
"Hmmmm...."
" Search yourself...Everytime it must have either been a good friend...or someone who was your good friend at sometime in the past"...
& yes...He was so right..!!! OMG...what a realization... The only people we had ever abused were our friends..!!! So what could this possibly mean now...???
" Guys... When It's a fact that we only give gaalis to our good friends... then why wait for times of anger or sadness to give them..?? Why can't we show them that they indeed are our close pals by sharing our gaalis with them all the time..?? It is for this reason fellas...that i call u m**d*rc**d even though both of u have ur own names... But when all of us call each other by gaalis... It unites us..!!!"
were the words that left that proud thespian Parijat's lips in an unforgettable moment...Whoa..!!! What depth of understanding...!!! What a magnificent student of "Friendship"... Bravo..!!!!!!!!!
Thank u Parijat for showing us that gaalis aren't just the offensive slang that ruffians use on roads (hey,we are cultured gentlemen.!!
)...We owe u a very big debt for enlightening us..
... and also a truck load of gaalis... I have been waiting so long to blast ur a$$ u b*****d..!!!
and with that...we m**d*rc**ds walked away to canteen for a wonderful dinner...where we happily swore away to the night... following which, we lived happily after... (atleast till the end of 2nd year... after which we moved into different hostels)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I had finished telling this story to my thambi friend... the effect was...well... dramatic... he actually apologized to me for objecting to my gaalis... He said he couldn't believe that he had been so naive all along about using slang... & gave me his word that he would also abuse me as a token of our friendship and that he would carry this enlightening message of mine far & wide...
I was honoured with this overwhelming show of respect & thus proceeded to forward to him this blockbuster of an SMS which is my all-time favourite...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Conversation between a Teacher and his student (In Hindi)
Teacher : Teri shikayat aayi hai ki tu gaali bahut deta hai...
Student : Ghanta B***nc**d..!!!
Maine Kis Ch****ye ko gaali di..??
Pata nahi kis m**d*rc**d ne aapki g***d me ungli ki hai..
Wo b***n ka l**da agar saamne aa jaae.. tho uski m** c**d dunga...
Sir, aapka student g***d marwa lega...
Par kisi ko kabhi gaali nahi dega...!!!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
As my friend and I laughed our a$$ out to this joke that afternoon... My friend re-iterated one more time..." I cannot thank u enough da, If it had not been for u...I donno how much longer I would have gone on without using gaalis...Its so refreshing to be able to vent out your anger & frustration like this"
"Abey a$$h**e... cut the bullshit... I din't tell u this long f***ed up story in this god-damn heat for free... get me a bloody ice cream..!!!"
22 comments:
O Bh**ch*d mast anecdote tha..waise m**d*rch*d is still considered a sinful thought or expression here in chennai.. the other expletives(token of friendship) go well with the normal day conv..just as you call a spade a spade...a bhench*d should be called a bh*nch*d..
This blog felt a need for such a disclaimer like post!!! [:P]
@garam bheja fry
call a "b***nc**d" a "b***nc**d"...
Hahahhaha...ROTFLMAO..!!! =))
lol
don't tell me that it "actually" took u this cock n bull story to start abusing people!!! :)
but actually u r correct.. we do abuse only our near and dear ones..
the best "gaalis" I have heard so far come from bengali..
lolz
b**ac**da means.. u f**k a stupid a$$hole.. which means u are not abusing ur friend... which is kinda contradictory to the entire episode..
but anyways, you probably meant english/hindi when writing this long essay!!! :)
I appreciate your patience to write such long posts. I could never go beyond three fourths of a page.
Yeah, let hypocrisy die. Hail cursing!
And yes must say- an attractive side bar :)
@anarchy
Ghanta b***nc**d..!!! ye sab true story hai... maanna hai tho maan... warna g***d mara..!!!
PS: Now that makes us good friends..!! hahhaa...
@akshaya..
Thanks...atleast someone likes it..!!! :)
(Unlike a certain anarchy..!!!)
My dear unparliamentary monsieur,I come from de school which taught me that 'Profanity pollutes'...Though I dont entirely concur wid it,I beg to differ on quite a few things U've tried 2 highlight in ur post...If we indeed abuse only our dear n near one verbally,then try using de 'gaalis' in front of ur parents...if u cant u're either being a hypocrite or they aint ur dearest...thats how de argument goes,right??
And beyond a certain point,it really starts getting dirty wen u cal each other nasty names easily forgetting that u've dragged ur family into this n wat u speak might be perceived(albeit wrongly at times) as having been passed on as a part of legacy.
Fie on those who think that abusing is a way of celebrating friendship n much more on those who think swearing out loud actually makes them look cool...
This happens to be my take on de whole issue n if u think I aint being a sport or immature,so be it-I've learnt to live wid it now...
I am sick of reading expletives here in ur blog da!! :P :P Don't tell bad words da!! :D SO finally is this a true story or not, b*h*nch*d!?
Dude!! There is so much of stuff on the sidebar...the first time i came in, my stupid unstable firefox crashed down in a heap!!Isn't ur blog-page a bit too heavy!?
@arvind..
Whoa..!!!! :O
@nabire...
YOU are sick of expletives..??? U faking b*****d...of course this is a true story..!!! :P
as for the heaviness...me still working on it..rest assured...changes will go on until i find a universally stable version...
@arvind
Dude...since u wanted a better response from me...here goes...
I still say that mere use of slang between friends is a rather different way of extending warmth..u cud say its like an ice-breaker...I never did support rampant use of abusive slang at everyone who comes into my acquaintance...which is why not many have heard me use slang as much as I can...
& i wud think that letting go of any built up frustration or anger u have in this harmless manner is a great deal better than cribbing along & wasting so much of your valuable time..which u could have spent doing something better....
hee hee nice excuse to give gaalis
bindaass likha bey bhen*hod.. tere ande* mey mast damm hey!! ;-)
btw..shaam ki kadi kyun ho gayi?! :D (vide, above comment)
@blitzkrieg
Atleast now we know ki usko kuch kuch hota tho hai..!!!! ROTFLMAO..!!!!
woah... :)
you write loooooong posts dude...!!
@numb.lock
Its time I learnt to appreciate brevity..!! :P
An enlightening entry I must say but with a heavy dose of expletives that could have been a little toned down. Quite typical of you.
And yes, I liked Aravind's comment too. He took you head on. You two should be in Mckinsey's brainstorming session, to give the Consultants there some feel for lateral ideas.
Well, I too have sometimes thought on the lines but not exactly in this way.
The reason we believe these expletives are too offensive is because of the associated meaning that they convey. But it is never the intended meaning while you use them in between your friends.
So, Aravind, your question can easily be answered by differentiating between these two shades of meaning. We do not start conversation with our parents in this way, because they have not allowed us to be sufficiently close to them that we know what meaning of the two will they interpret.
Off course everything is not as black and white as it seems. The disadvantage of living in hostel and frequent usage of these expletives is that sometimes in normal conversation they start to crop up creating embarrassing situations for the concerned parties because now the conveyed meaning relates closely to associated meaning.
Now, what is so special about these words. Is their specific way of sounding makes them most suitable for bonding with friends and swearing at Enemies in private. Is how F**k and a**h**e sounds bears some resemblance with the hindi expletives that Shubhankar used galore.
I am still not clear about this and
some research is required but at least these expletives in some way sound more stronger than normal words lending weight to the feelings you want to convey. The reason they act as perfect ice-breakers as well as swearing words and are much more effective than regulars like Cartoon, Joker, Moron, and Mental.
And yes, I will recommend this freaking blog to anyone willing to have a good time-pass as well as for people seeking insightful writings.
Or should I use some Hindi expletive for this blog Shubhankar in place of freaking..
@all...
First of all...For all those who have identified me as a writer of REALLY LONG blog entries...Check out Subodh's comments...Now thats BIG..!!! :-)
@Subodh..
It is for that precise reason that i use my expletives only when I am in the company of "Friends" who know that I never suggest the literal meaning of my gaalis...
& I make sure never to create a situation where the literal meaning is perceived as the intended meaning...as what would be expected to happen if elders, parents, relatives etc overhear them...
Of course I am not a foul-mouthed road-side lunatic..I use my gaalis with class & intelligence..!! :P
amazing post & anecdote m*d*rchod....seriously...ur a good story teeler...u effing *h*t*iye
[:)]
@harsh
Thanks bey bh***di waale..!! :)))
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