A tale of two cities.....& two fests....& two companies....& all that jazz..!!! ( 25th Jan - 19th Feb '07) Vol. - 2

"Thambi....Enga poringe..?!?"

Huh..!?!? Wtf was that..?!?! I instinctively looked at the watch...5:20 AM...i cudnt have been sleeping for more than 45 mins at max...& the bus was still moving...Moving..?!?! Wtf..!?!? Then why was I woken up when I chose the luxury of sleeping till the last stop (Koyambedu)..Someone had some explaining to do...
& then i found the someone...the typical thambi conductor anna...who looked like he had done me a gr8 deal of good...
"KOYAMBEDU..!!!" I bellowed...& anna immediately knew who the jackass was & beat a hasty retreat..I was in one of those tempers that led me onto giving anna half a dozen of my choicest gaalis which wud have him weeping all the way back to Trichy...but then socha...rehne do...bichaare ki g***d maarke mujhe kya milega..??
After finally getting to Koyambedu & getting a bus to Velachery (which turned out to be a much easier chore than Shyam made me believe)...I then met up with Shyam anna...who as always...looked...well....well fed..!!!! :P
After a more than satisfying breakfast & a brief kutting (read orkut) session...we made our way to the big mama of all fests in the south...Saarang...where we met up with the big papa of matter..apna own matter mama...Ram..!!! :P
After completing the traditional & extremely cordial greeting routine consisting of polite exchanges such as "M*d*rc**d", "B***nc**d", "Bh***di waale" & other such pleasantries...we then turned to focus on what made Saarang so mattersome....MATTER...!!!!! (For those who know what "matter" is...good,very good...I am proud of you..& for the unenlightened...matter = maal = pottiyan..& if u still dont get it..WTF...just read on..!! )

In his best-selling book "The World is Flat", Thomas Friedman writes "..the playing field is being flattened ..Flattened? Flattened? My God, he's telling me the world is flat!"
Of course, this isnt true...the world isnt & never was flat...only YenEyeTee Trichy is..!!!
Outside my coll, the world (atleast with regards to half of its citizens), & in particular Saarang, was as hypothesized by Christopher Columbus...."Round...a near perfect sphere"
Yes..& though I knew it was no discovery...But I had also seen it with my own eyes...The world is indeed big & round...!!!! ( I shall refrain from any attempts to elaborate on this para :P )
After the brief glimpse of Saarang...we then made our way to Chepauk where we were joined by Bhargav, Shyam's cousin...Wow..!!! I couldnt believe this..I was gonna see my first international match in a cricket stadium...aur wo bhi free me...!!!(Thanks Shyam...wish there were more frds like u..!!:P)..It was around this time that Ram & Shyam decided that I was to be the "BUTT" of their sarcasm [;P]
When the match finally started & Uthappa unleashed a breathtaking assault of pure timing..we discovered that we had in our midst what Shyam called "commentator" and/or "Selector"...However, I shall choose to refer to him, quite simply as "Asshole"...
Some excerpts from the shit farted out by the "Asshole"
* (When Uthappa was gng gr8 guns & we were at 95/1 in 10 overs) "Do you think we have a chance to reach 200..??"
*When Sachin was blasting away...our "Asshole" was busy reading India Today...yup..perfect time & place to read a mag..!!!
*(When Sachin got out) "This was expected...he looked totally out of touch"(yes..he indeed looked outta touch...just a remarkable coincidence that he happened to get 60 off 66 balls that day)
*(When we were losing wickets like crazy in the last 10 overs & runs suddenly became ungettable) "This..!! (with a look of innocent admiration) is true match test cricket..!!!"(Yup..the slog overs in an ODI...true test match cricket allright..!!)
*(When Kumble attempted to steal a run only to realize that the "stomach of India" Powar wudnt make it...)"Yes.!!!.we still have a chance..they are looking for singles..!!!"(Chance for what..?? to make Powar lose weight by attempting singles..!??)

However, I shall not suggest that the "Asshole" made us feel miserable...not with loaded mattersome matter on either side, behind & in front of us...rest assured...we knew were to look for action when 4s were hit..!!![;)]
It was sometime now that I got ambiguous information that I may or may not be allowed to sit for Shell...the ambiguity of the situation fuelling all the frustration of Schlum...& it threatened to ruin what was shaping to be a most memorable first match of mine..& poor old Ram & Shyam had to bear my awful cribs..as it eventually turned out...all the crib amounted to zilch for I ended up with something I had desired more(But that shall come in a later post)..Sorry for chaating u guys that day..!!!

With a hasty dinner during the innings break..we hurried back only to find we were outta seats & so kept shifting our places with change of ends to make sure we got the correct view (Of course i meant the view of cricket u perverts..!!!!!)...& eventually..I found the perfect seat which gave me an unobstructed view of play from either end...& also with semi-obstructed views of what needed to be seen on either side of me...!!! :P

With Marlon Samuels failing miserably at missing the gaps that night, & Lara looking like he wanted to get back & sleep in a hurry...we once again had to find alternate sources of entertainment...which were of course, far more reliable..!!! ;) ( Oh how I wish I cud be the guy who was painting the Indian tri-colour on HER cheek..!!)

With nothing more to do than to get ourselves spent after India's debacle (which by dubious coincidence proved to be their only defeat in the series)..we parted ways...Ram, for what turned out to be a night of action (lolzzz), Bhargav on his way home..and me & shyam anna to dig our way thru all the buses until we found ourselves back at shyam's place...

& THAT ended my first day in Chennai...& what was also my first ever international match at a stadium....one that I will never forget for reasons which are poltically correct..& some..which may not quite be so..!! :D
but it was worth looking forward to the next day...coz ....SAARANG beckoned...!!!


NEXT : The tale of two fests..!!!