A tale of two cities.....& two fests....& two companies....& all that jazz..!!! ( 25th Jan - 19th Feb '07) Vol. - 1

3:15 PM ....25th January, 2007

The screen of the large projector finally came to life with pictures of an uninhabited arctic perma-frosted Tundra...followed by a vast expense which seemed to show nothing but the great blue sea...If the sight of ocean 2-miles deep in water wasnt intimidating enough...The next sequence shows an endless desert which appeared to stand magnificent & yet unconquered by man...If the absence of life was unsettling...We next moved to a rainforest..thick with life to the point where even frogs seemed to have to measure themselves to see if they fit into the less-than-humble dwellings nature had chosen for them...
& then the message goes..
"Here, you have no companions...no friends...nothing to see you through except your own determination..!!!"
( The actual content may have been different..tried my best to reproduce atleast the context in exactness..!!)

But why am i boring you with what obviously is a flick of an episode of a show outta NGC or Discovery Channel..???
The answer: I am NOT..!!!!
These were in fact the opening sequences of Schlumberger's pre-placement presentation at my coll..!!! & as expected....these were more than enough to frighten the wits outta even poeple who had thought of braving the elements for the sweet smell of dough...
After being terrified through 2 hours about how we would have to work in conditions such as 20,000psi...120 degrees C etc etc( ya rite..of course they love their employees..!! :D )...I found myself being shortlisted for the GD & PI...
With an absurd looking Schlumberger tag on my shirt...I kept roaming arnd the hostel & octa to spend the time away until my GD...meanwhile convincing people that the tag dint make me a volunteer of some exhibition....like...Duhhh...!!!!!!!!!
After waiting for what was wayyyyyy past the time a Gd for the first batch of shortlists should have ended...we finally got to know that it was not just a GD...but a "Group-activity" session(whatever that meant.!!) we were expected to brave for no less than 2 hours ..!!!!!!!!!
Once inside Citius (thats the name of the room where the "GD" was held)...hmmmm...the GD on getting your team to survive & lead them from the "dark side (sounds like the Immortal Darkseid doesnt it..?? :P) of the moon" to survival & safety on the basis of the precedence of 15 articles...dint seem all that bad...getting to rank it on your known...discussing (to be read chaating) the survival strategies with ur sub-group mates...& then trying to convince the Schlum guy ki...."Dekho bhaiya...aise hi karna padega warna moon pe humari m** c**d jaayegi..!!!!!!"
By the time the 2 hrs were done...I couldnt help leaving with a feeling of wanting it to continue a lil longer...after all..it wasnt everyday that u realized that magnetic compasses wudnt work on moon coz it dint rotate...or that pistols,signla flares, matches etc wudnt work coz of the absence of atmosphere...nor would solar-powered heating units,radios etc etc work on the dark side of the moon coz....Duhhh..!!! We are on the dark side(I just love the way darkside/darkseid sounds.. :P)remember..?!?!? :D

Luckily (or was it unluckily..?? who cares..?!?) I made it to the final 7 bakras who had to brave the night for the "Schlum Interview" (*boom boom*)..After waiting for what seemed like an eternity...I finally got my turn at 12:10 AM....
The panel that faced me was an Indian guy (I), a young-looking lady from BITS (W), & a Venezualan dude (V)
Here's what unfolded :

Me : Goodmorning Sir, Goodmorning mam (cheeky smile on my face)
W: ahaan..(bearing a very very smug expression..!! :P) Good morning..!!
I: OMG..!!! Is it past 12 already..!?!? (looking at his watch)
(abey dhakkan...2 ghante ka ppt aur 2 ghante ka GD lagayega tho kya der nahi lagega..!?!?)
Me: (Fitting myself into a chair after being asked to)
W: So, whats your name again..??
Me: Shubhankar Bhattacharya mam..!!!
W: aaah....so you are a bengali then..??
Me: Yes (*What else did u expect me to be..!?!? Ethiopian..!?*)
I: okay shubhankar...temme something about yourself which is NOT in the CV...
Me : (*tho CV kis liye maanga phir...!?!? Ghanta maraane ke liye..!?!?*) Yes sir...I was born in..blah-blah...blah-blah.....
I: (looking as if he had been abruptly brought to attention) Whats your GRE score..??
Me: I dint write GRe...
I: Whats your CAT score..??
Me: (without missing a beat) I dint write CAT sir (*Of course not, never even gave it a thought...Btw...what was that exam which I wrote on 19th Nov'06 & got 99.26 %ile in..??*)
I: Then where are u placed..??
Me: BPCL sir...
I: Hmmmm...So u did ur summer internship in ITC...are u the one who got the PPO..??
Me: Yes Sir....But i turned it down..!! (*of course I got the PPO from ITC...& then rejected it na..?? :D *)
I:What..!?!? But why would u do that..!?!?
Me: I wanna make a career in the Oil & gas industry
I: Why Oil & Gas.??
Me: Blah-Blah....
W: But ITC is such a lucrative option..!!!!!
Me: (Acting like my values cudnt bear so much indifference) No...I see a very lucrative future in Oil & Gas..& thats what I wish to be a part of..!!! (Cough Cough..!!!)
I: So why do u want to work with Schlumberger..??? (*Its so comical to see these guys pronounce the finishing akson with the best flair they can attempt*)
Me: Blah-Blah....
I: & what if we dont take u..???
Me: Blah-Blah
V: (*OMG..?!?!? the Venezualan finally decided to talk..!?!?) Whath plaans do u haaf afther 5 eears...???
Me: I dont wish to plan for anything beyond 2-3 years at a time...Blah-Blah...
V: No...but evveeryvone haas some dreams....no..?? You must be wanting a beeeg house...with loths of money...with a beeeeutiful wife...& loths of keeds....yes..???
Me: As of now....its not money that matters to me...its the skill sets that I acquire...blah-Blah...
(*Silly boy....Did u think I applied to Schlumberger because it offers the biggest package on campus by a huge margin..?? Of course not..!!!! It is beacuse...I like to stay trapped in inhospitable conditions where survival itself is a challenge...& checking out lovely looking babes..well...u might as well...check out orkut & p***y for that..!!! Got that Mr. venezualan..??*)
V: (Silently looking at me with a look of new-found respect..)
I: ahem...so whats your favourite subject..??
Me: mass transfer sir...
W: But thats a core chemical engg subject...we dont have any chemical enggrs here
I: No probs...we will just ask u general engg tech
(*saale...phir wohi nautanki..!?!? phir fav subject poocha kis liye..!?!?*)
I: Can u draw the circuit of a torch for me,..??
Me: Err...I have never read that sir...(*Darn it..!!!! yahi poochna tha kya..!?!?*)
I: No probs...why dont u try..?? I am sure u ll get it...
Me: Hmmm....(showed him an elementary circuit consisting of a cell..a bulb & a switch)
I: Hmmm...good good...Now what happens if I give it a 27 V supply..??
Me: (Looking really flustered)
I: Ok then lets move on...plz explain to me the working of a hand pump..!?!
Me: (*Wtf is going on here..!?!?)Errr....I havent studied that either sir...
I: No...give it a try...
Me: (Drew some arbit system like a 4-stroke engine & gave my own arbit fundaes on its working)
I & V : Hmmm.....
I: Ok then...temme one thing that u liked most during our ppt & selction procedure...& one thing that u did not like
Me: Blah-Blah...
I: Ok then..is there something that you would wanna ask us before leaving..!?!?
Me: blah-blah
I,V&W :(after giving the answer) Ok then Shubhankar, nice talking to u...bbyee...

Hmmmmm....I looked into my watch as I came outta the room...it was 12:35Am...definitely not an interview to remember...the fatigue outta the long wait & the un-earthly timings had made it a below-par performance...
Neverthless....wait karke result sun lene me kya jaa raha hai..??

& the result finally came at 1:30 AM..."B--- gets the offer from us...While Shubhankar is on waitlist for now...We shall get back to you hopefully with a confirmation in a couple of months or so.."
Waitlist..!?!??! What the bloody F**K..!??!?!?! I guess something blew in my system upon hearing the news...& my eyesight went hazy & my hearing also became distorted...Fortunately, The Schlum junta never realized it....& they quietly made an exit in the early hours of the morning...
& now that this enormously painful ordeal was done...what am i to make of it..!?!??! Why did it have to be me to bear the screwed-up consequences of a waitlist..!??!?!
OMG...all those horrible memories...all those that I had buried under the thought that "Life is peaceful"...they were back...& I was left to wonder whether life was indeed peaceful....
Now I neither had the right to celebrate with total abandon...Nor did my miserable providence allow me to even cry my sorrows out...
Why had I always had to face such anomalies..???!?!?
Why was I the ITC summer intern who got a gr8 feedback from his guide...but yet did not get the PPO..??
Why did I get 99.26 %ile in CAT & yet end up with no calls..!?!?
Why was I good enough for the Schlumberger junta to praise me...& yet good enough only to deserve a waitlist..??
Why....oh Why...was I always so close to greatness...??? & yet...so painstakingly far..???

The whole of my night was screwed outta any possible sleep with miserable thoughts like these which..as Ram would put it "raped the happiness of my life"....

With morning giving me a chance to once again bury myself in the comfort of Octa...which if not anything else, would atleast allow me to vent my anger, sadness & frustration with some semi-sadist means...
Shyam's call in the morn also reminded me that I had a decision to make...whether to stay disappointed & gloomy...& spend my time in my room....Or pretend that "life is peaceful"...& try to go to Chennai..to watch the Ind-Wi match...& have a blast at Saarang...
Some cheapskates had the nerve to say Congrats where an "All the best" was in order...some m****rf****rs even had the audacity to ask for a treat..(I made a mental note to make sure these guys never get any treat 4m me when I see better days)
It was then that I made up my mind...if not anything else...I would atleast get to escape these asols who make me feel more miserable with their "congrats" & Saarang never did me any harm in any case...
& So i booked my seat in KPN's brand new AC sleeper bus to Chennai...& boy oh boy...this was something new..2 sleeper berths joined together..?!?!?! what if it happens to be a guy & a gal together...??? Hmmmm....& whats this..?? curtains to give yourself the luxury of not becoming an audience to perverted peeping tomboys..?!?! Maaan...if there was ever a bus which gave a frust male the chance to get laid with comfort....this had to be it...!!!!!!!
Unfortunately...the berth(which in fact resembled a comfy bed) attached to mine belonged to a balding guy with a Goatie...!!! (Hmmphhh...!!!!)
As I strected on that amazing bus that night...I realized...that maybe I was being unfair to myself...maybe life was indeed peaceful....after all...My talents hadnt gone unnoticed...Even the most pessimistic would have to agree that I had atleast a 50% chance of getting the confirmed offer from Schlum....Besides, this now also gave me the option to explore other offers coz the waitlist didn't count as my 2nd job...
what the heck....why shud i complain..?? Tommorow I was gonna be in Chennai...I was gonna watch my first ever ODI at Chepauk stadium...I was gonna be witness to Saarang...I would get to see....not non-males..But drop-dead gorgeous babes all around...yes....I told myself that if the big dude up there is/was testing what I am made of, I may yet see better days when He is done...Life...for the time being atleast..was still peaceful..!!!

It was around 4 Am on 27th Jan..& though sleep had never dated me since the night of 24th...It was with these pleasant thoughts that I drifted into a state of pleasant half-consciousness......

(To be Continued..)