SAARANG '07 vs
PRAGYAN '07..!!
Now why is that I choose to write Saarang in blue..?? After all, could there be any explanation whatsoever to suggest that it had more than enough reason to be called a BF (Blue Fest).. Was it just a coincidence that Mood Indigo & Unmaad (transliteration of "Ecstacsy") were other fests which sought to make their association with the various hues & interpretations of BLUE rather obvious..?? Yes....nothing but a coincidence of course (Did u guys think it was a deliberate attempt..?!?! How perverted..!!!)
But again...why do I call it a BLUE fest..?? Is it because the gals at Saarang are really hot..?? Is it because their attire betrays the reason I (& all other frustu males) stare at them..?? Is it because, for some unexplained reason, Gals here usually tend to shed their inhibitions on-stage & do things which would have u wide-eyed & gaping in disbelief..?? Is it because, the only issue which was thought to be worth musing over in JAMs, Extempores, Debates etc was S*X & the other four-letter, five-letter etc words which usually find their place in such "discussions"..???
Nope...Its simply beacuse..... I am an innocent little kid who likes the colour BLUE..!!! :D
Nothing that happened in Saarang took my mind off the blues...NOTthe Biz-Quiz which i braved alone (it was supposed to be a 3-man event) thanks to Shyam's interests in stuff beyond the blues & Ram's absence,during which a gal not-so-far-away giggled away to my constant wise cracks :P, NOT the so-called "hypnotism" workshop wherein all I could think about during the "hypnotic session to take me back to when I was 5 years old" was how I could get out of the cramped room & return to food & the "Round" world..!!! :P
With Ram anna finally reminding us of his existence (after his night of action..!!)after what was well-past our usual lunch-time...We then proceeded to...ASCENDAS..!!!!
I was told that Ascendas is a bigger, better & a fully-AC version of "Eat Street" (The Hyd gang will know this only too well :P)...& yes...It was a gr8 deal better than I had expected it to be...But I missed the tattoo parlour at Eat Street.. the realization of my dream of getting a tattoo...is long overdue now..!!! :((
With the ritual of eating like monsters done (Ram..that special faluda of yours was outta this world..!!!)...We then happened to notice (among the many loaded matter that demanded our attention)..that a matter in white...seemed to find us..very interesting..!!!! (I say "us" coz...well...all 3 "wannabe hunks" seemed to be getting the stares..!! :D)...She seemed to be in the midst of an all-round tour of Ascendas..but no sir...that dint stop her from checkin us out...(One must assume that Diff angles of admiration only helps the cause ;) )... Then, she goes & joins her mother at their table...Mother..!?!? Shit..There goes any hopes of prolonging this kadalai session ...But wait...she seemed to be lookin at us & saying something animatedly to her mom...& was I imagining her mom giving us a real smug smile..!?!?!? If I was...I certainly wasnt alone...Ram & Shyam cud swear to it too...& now mom & daughter take turns giving us inviting stares....WTF..!?!? Are even the gals(& their moms) in this place so frustu..?!? :O
With this lil kadalai adventure...it was time to say adieu to matter mama Ram with our traditional routine which consisted of...(well..u know what it must have consisted of..!! lolzz)..for what had been a really short stay for him coz of a schedule which only a retard( Hope u recognize urself Ram :D) cud have alloted himself..With Ram off to his war-on-gal haven...me & shyam anna then moved once again to Saarang to salvage some more matter for the day..& settled on the JAM finals...where the importance of perverted fetishes, & the serious matter of "fitting the Schrodinger Wave equation to serve the purpose of s*x" were discussed among many other such delicate issues...The JAMming (as well as loadsa other things) GOD "Ducky" was at his "serious" best..!!! :D
Resigned to the assumption that we had enuf matter for the day...Shyam & me went for a ride in the night..& feasted on some amazing paneer paranthas.!!! :P That....followed by a detailed description of some "important" matters ended the day for us... ;)
The next morn ushered in prolly the best breakfast I have ever had in...(man..this aint supposed to be a flashback session)....!!! Rice...with that delightfully aromatic ghee & sambhar( Sorry dude...I forgot what its supposed to be called..!!)...man oh man...no wonder i out-ate Shyam by atleast double of what he ate for breakfast...& Shyam..the next time I am in Chennai...plz repeat this gourmet feast & i shall show just what a true gourmand is..!!!! :P
We then moved to Saarang..& with nothing interesting on...& with me not in any hurry to check out "workshops" after the gr8 "hypnotism" ordeal..!!! (Duhhh..!!)...it had to be MATTER again that kept us busy...(yes..I graciously accept the charges of being stupid, shallow & narrow-minded to be so blinded by good-looking gals, but enuf talking...lemme concentrate on matter :D)...& what follows when u get high on matter..?? Of course...FOOD..!!!! (Oh man...I shall never forget those divine frankfurters..Even matter will have to wait for this..!!)
With the formalities completed..We then moved to the Buzzer-Quiz Finals...I am sure it must have been extremely exciting, enlightening, exhilirating..blah-blah...& perhaps, had I managed to stay awake during the quiz,I might have definitely agreed...but the only thing I do remember is one of the most wacky & ingenius pick-up intros I will ever come up with, & which I ended up using for a half-known fem acquaintance...!! :D
& yes...we now come to the Prahlad Kakkar Show..!!!! After seeing thru his brilliant ads of Pepsi, Maggi tomato sauce, Kitkat et al..one enthusiast asks him whether a brand can survive without ads...To this..Prahlad Kakkar gave a response..which, by far, has gotta be THE moment of Saarang'07...He says "lemme give u an example of when advertising may not be necessary..I started a restaurant chain by the name 'Papa Pancho'..now how does a brand like this spread..?? Note the similarity of "Pancho" to a word we Punjabis (& now pretty much all Indian males) use...So pple wud come to the restaurant just to chk how a restaurant came to be called 'Pancho' (mind u...NOT b***nc*o..!!)...& it wud always stay on in their minds...coz after their meal they wud either say.."Baaanchoooo..!!!"(outta sheer delight) or "Bhak Bencho..!!!"(outta sheer anger & repulsion)"
{ Plz note that guys have to assume that "Baancho" refers to "B***nc**d" & gals(if at all any are still reading this blog)...plz assume that "Baancho" is just an innocent word which carries no particular relevance..!! :D }
Saarang '07 "climaxed" for us with Ducky & Ranjeev's sublime brilliance in the extempore competition...& which also featured an ash-wannabe...who began moaning & riding the mic to enact the alter-ego of a bar-girl (hmmmm...is "that" what a bar-girl does..!?? arent there enuf pple doing "that" already.???) to which the judge promptly responds "I hope she doesnt actually end up using the mic as a 'toy'..!!"..yup..definitely the BLUE moment of Saarang '07..!!!!
With Saarang done...all that was left to be done the following day was to check out Spencer's (My T-shirt...well...Its different..!! :D ) & spend ourselves on the sands of Bessie beach..
I started off for Trichy that night with a "cool"bus which looked way better than its fare suggested...however, It dint appear all that "cool" when it took me more than 10 hrs to reach Trichy (usual time = 7-8 hrs)...
All that was left to do now was to waste myself away for the day & Pragyan would be ON the next day..!!! (2nd Feb '07)
So what happened in PRAGYAN '07 ..?? Hmmm...good question indeed, what did happen in Pragyan'07..???
Answer :How do u expect a person who is too busy being the chairman of 3 committees (Orkutting, eating, sleeping) of Pragyan' 07 to spare time to know whats happening elsewhere..??
But yes...I shall NOT talk about those amazing pizzas...I will NOT talk abt those irresistibly melting, dripping, cheesy Domino's pizzas that made u feel like the luckiest human around..I sure had built a gr8 acquaintance with a couple of the Domino's pizza crew...after all...noone else's mess account had filled up their coffers more during Festember'04, NITTfest '05, Pragyan'06, NITTfest '06, Summer of '06 (The Domino's Pizza guys were 4m their franchise stall in Coimbatore...which of course I graced during the weekends during my summer intern @ ITC..!! :P),Festember '06 & now Pragyan'07...Guys...its been gr8 knowing u..but remember...I only like u coz u gimme gr8 pizzas...so quit smiling & get my pizza ready..!!!!!!
Aaaah...Gluttony...how divine...how pure...how peaceful...& how satisfying..!!!! :P
Pragyan thus passed away silently for me...with 12 pizzas, probably 10 or more sundaes, noodles etc etc being feasted upon in 3 days flat..!!! Thank you..NITT..I loved celebrating the spirit of technology..!!! I shall again oblige you with my appetite when our cultural talents have to be celebrated in NITTfest'07...!!! :D
So which fest wins the battle..?? Shall it be the blue SAARANG '07 with its amazing babes, decent food, & the opportunities that Chennai offers...or will it be PRAGYAN '07..the fest where u can outeat more than what 4 Saarangs together can offer without spending a buck off your wallet (only for NITT junta & their frds who make bakras outta them..!! :P)..???
Well...is it even a contest..?? What should make u think that a battle was ever on..??
Shouldnt matter & food go "hand-in-hand"..??? :P
& so...I hereby declare that...the winner of Saarang'07 vs Pragyan'07 is.... ME..!!!
(Hmmm....why am I in blue now..??)
Coming up : THE GRAND FINALE`...!!!!!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
A tale of two cities.....& two fests....& two companies....& all that jazz..!!! ( 25th Jan - 19th Feb '07) Vol. - 2
"Thambi....Enga poringe..?!?"
Huh..!?!? Wtf was that..?!?! I instinctively looked at the watch...5:20 AM...i cudnt have been sleeping for more than 45 mins at max...& the bus was still moving...Moving..?!?! Wtf..!?!? Then why was I woken up when I chose the luxury of sleeping till the last stop (Koyambedu)..Someone had some explaining to do...
& then i found the someone...the typical thambi conductor anna...who looked like he had done me a gr8 deal of good...
"KOYAMBEDU..!!!" I bellowed...& anna immediately knew who the jackass was & beat a hasty retreat..I was in one of those tempers that led me onto giving anna half a dozen of my choicest gaalis which wud have him weeping all the way back to Trichy...but then socha...rehne do...bichaare ki g***d maarke mujhe kya milega..??
After finally getting to Koyambedu & getting a bus to Velachery (which turned out to be a much easier chore than Shyam made me believe)...I then met up with Shyam anna...who as always...looked...well....well fed..!!!! :P
After a more than satisfying breakfast & a brief kutting (read orkut) session...we made our way to the big mama of all fests in the south...Saarang...where we met up with the big papa of matter..apna own matter mama...Ram..!!! :P
After completing the traditional & extremely cordial greeting routine consisting of polite exchanges such as "M*d*rc**d", "B***nc**d", "Bh***di waale" & other such pleasantries...we then turned to focus on what made Saarang so mattersome....MATTER...!!!!! (For those who know what "matter" is...good,very good...I am proud of you..& for the unenlightened...matter = maal = pottiyan..& if u still dont get it..WTF...just read on..!! )
In his best-selling book "The World is Flat", Thomas Friedman writes "..the playing field is being flattened ..Flattened? Flattened? My God, he's telling me the world is flat!"
Of course, this isnt true...the world isnt & never was flat...only YenEyeTee Trichy is..!!!
Outside my coll, the world (atleast with regards to half of its citizens), & in particular Saarang, was as hypothesized by Christopher Columbus...."Round...a near perfect sphere"
Yes..& though I knew it was no discovery...But I had also seen it with my own eyes...The world is indeed big & round...!!!! ( I shall refrain from any attempts to elaborate on this para :P )
After the brief glimpse of Saarang...we then made our way to Chepauk where we were joined by Bhargav, Shyam's cousin...Wow..!!! I couldnt believe this..I was gonna see my first international match in a cricket stadium...aur wo bhi free me...!!!(Thanks Shyam...wish there were more frds like u..!!:P)..It was around this time that Ram & Shyam decided that I was to be the "BUTT" of their sarcasm [;P]
When the match finally started & Uthappa unleashed a breathtaking assault of pure timing..we discovered that we had in our midst what Shyam called "commentator" and/or "Selector"...However, I shall choose to refer to him, quite simply as "Asshole"...
Some excerpts from the shit farted out by the "Asshole"
* (When Uthappa was gng gr8 guns & we were at 95/1 in 10 overs) "Do you think we have a chance to reach 200..??"
*When Sachin was blasting away...our "Asshole" was busy reading India Today...yup..perfect time & place to read a mag..!!!
*(When Sachin got out) "This was expected...he looked totally out of touch"(yes..he indeed looked outta touch...just a remarkable coincidence that he happened to get 60 off 66 balls that day)
*(When we were losing wickets like crazy in the last 10 overs & runs suddenly became ungettable) "This..!! (with a look of innocent admiration) is true match test cricket..!!!"(Yup..the slog overs in an ODI...true test match cricket allright..!!)
*(When Kumble attempted to steal a run only to realize that the "stomach of India" Powar wudnt make it...)"Yes.!!!.we still have a chance..they are looking for singles..!!!"(Chance for what..?? to make Powar lose weight by attempting singles..!??)
However, I shall not suggest that the "Asshole" made us feel miserable...not with loaded mattersome matter on either side, behind & in front of us...rest assured...we knew were to look for action when 4s were hit..!!![;)]
It was sometime now that I got ambiguous information that I may or may not be allowed to sit for Shell...the ambiguity of the situation fuelling all the frustration of Schlum...& it threatened to ruin what was shaping to be a most memorable first match of mine..& poor old Ram & Shyam had to bear my awful cribs..as it eventually turned out...all the crib amounted to zilch for I ended up with something I had desired more(But that shall come in a later post)..Sorry for chaating u guys that day..!!!
With a hasty dinner during the innings break..we hurried back only to find we were outta seats & so kept shifting our places with change of ends to make sure we got the correct view (Of course i meant the view of cricket u perverts..!!!!!)...& eventually..I found the perfect seat which gave me an unobstructed view of play from either end...& also with semi-obstructed views of what needed to be seen on either side of me...!!! :P
With Marlon Samuels failing miserably at missing the gaps that night, & Lara looking like he wanted to get back & sleep in a hurry...we once again had to find alternate sources of entertainment...which were of course, far more reliable..!!! ;) ( Oh how I wish I cud be the guy who was painting the Indian tri-colour on HER cheek..!!)
With nothing more to do than to get ourselves spent after India's debacle (which by dubious coincidence proved to be their only defeat in the series)..we parted ways...Ram, for what turned out to be a night of action (lolzzz), Bhargav on his way home..and me & shyam anna to dig our way thru all the buses until we found ourselves back at shyam's place...
& THAT ended my first day in Chennai...& what was also my first ever international match at a stadium....one that I will never forget for reasons which are poltically correct..& some..which may not quite be so..!! :D
but it was worth looking forward to the next day...coz ....SAARANG beckoned...!!!
NEXT : The tale of two fests..!!!
Huh..!?!? Wtf was that..?!?! I instinctively looked at the watch...5:20 AM...i cudnt have been sleeping for more than 45 mins at max...& the bus was still moving...Moving..?!?! Wtf..!?!? Then why was I woken up when I chose the luxury of sleeping till the last stop (Koyambedu)..Someone had some explaining to do...
& then i found the someone...the typical thambi conductor anna...who looked like he had done me a gr8 deal of good...
"KOYAMBEDU..!!!" I bellowed...& anna immediately knew who the jackass was & beat a hasty retreat..I was in one of those tempers that led me onto giving anna half a dozen of my choicest gaalis which wud have him weeping all the way back to Trichy...but then socha...rehne do...bichaare ki g***d maarke mujhe kya milega..??
After finally getting to Koyambedu & getting a bus to Velachery (which turned out to be a much easier chore than Shyam made me believe)...I then met up with Shyam anna...who as always...looked...well....well fed..!!!! :P
After a more than satisfying breakfast & a brief kutting (read orkut) session...we made our way to the big mama of all fests in the south...Saarang...where we met up with the big papa of matter..apna own matter mama...Ram..!!! :P
After completing the traditional & extremely cordial greeting routine consisting of polite exchanges such as "M*d*rc**d", "B***nc**d", "Bh***di waale" & other such pleasantries...we then turned to focus on what made Saarang so mattersome....MATTER...!!!!! (For those who know what "matter" is...good,very good...I am proud of you..& for the unenlightened...matter = maal = pottiyan..& if u still dont get it..WTF...just read on..!! )
In his best-selling book "The World is Flat", Thomas Friedman writes "..the playing field is being flattened ..Flattened? Flattened? My God, he's telling me the world is flat!"
Of course, this isnt true...the world isnt & never was flat...only YenEyeTee Trichy is..!!!
Outside my coll, the world (atleast with regards to half of its citizens), & in particular Saarang, was as hypothesized by Christopher Columbus...."Round...a near perfect sphere"
Yes..& though I knew it was no discovery...But I had also seen it with my own eyes...The world is indeed big & round...!!!! ( I shall refrain from any attempts to elaborate on this para :P )
After the brief glimpse of Saarang...we then made our way to Chepauk where we were joined by Bhargav, Shyam's cousin...Wow..!!! I couldnt believe this..I was gonna see my first international match in a cricket stadium...aur wo bhi free me...!!!(Thanks Shyam...wish there were more frds like u..!!:P)..It was around this time that Ram & Shyam decided that I was to be the "BUTT" of their sarcasm [;P]
When the match finally started & Uthappa unleashed a breathtaking assault of pure timing..we discovered that we had in our midst what Shyam called "commentator" and/or "Selector"...However, I shall choose to refer to him, quite simply as "Asshole"...
Some excerpts from the shit farted out by the "Asshole"
* (When Uthappa was gng gr8 guns & we were at 95/1 in 10 overs) "Do you think we have a chance to reach 200..??"
*When Sachin was blasting away...our "Asshole" was busy reading India Today...yup..perfect time & place to read a mag..!!!
*(When Sachin got out) "This was expected...he looked totally out of touch"(yes..he indeed looked outta touch...just a remarkable coincidence that he happened to get 60 off 66 balls that day)
*(When we were losing wickets like crazy in the last 10 overs & runs suddenly became ungettable) "This..!! (with a look of innocent admiration) is true match test cricket..!!!"(Yup..the slog overs in an ODI...true test match cricket allright..!!)
*(When Kumble attempted to steal a run only to realize that the "stomach of India" Powar wudnt make it...)"Yes.!!!.we still have a chance..they are looking for singles..!!!"(Chance for what..?? to make Powar lose weight by attempting singles..!??)
However, I shall not suggest that the "Asshole" made us feel miserable...not with loaded mattersome matter on either side, behind & in front of us...rest assured...we knew were to look for action when 4s were hit..!!![;)]
It was sometime now that I got ambiguous information that I may or may not be allowed to sit for Shell...the ambiguity of the situation fuelling all the frustration of Schlum...& it threatened to ruin what was shaping to be a most memorable first match of mine..& poor old Ram & Shyam had to bear my awful cribs..as it eventually turned out...all the crib amounted to zilch for I ended up with something I had desired more(But that shall come in a later post)..Sorry for chaating u guys that day..!!!
With a hasty dinner during the innings break..we hurried back only to find we were outta seats & so kept shifting our places with change of ends to make sure we got the correct view (Of course i meant the view of cricket u perverts..!!!!!)...& eventually..I found the perfect seat which gave me an unobstructed view of play from either end...& also with semi-obstructed views of what needed to be seen on either side of me...!!! :P
With Marlon Samuels failing miserably at missing the gaps that night, & Lara looking like he wanted to get back & sleep in a hurry...we once again had to find alternate sources of entertainment...which were of course, far more reliable..!!! ;) ( Oh how I wish I cud be the guy who was painting the Indian tri-colour on HER cheek..!!)
With nothing more to do than to get ourselves spent after India's debacle (which by dubious coincidence proved to be their only defeat in the series)..we parted ways...Ram, for what turned out to be a night of action (lolzzz), Bhargav on his way home..and me & shyam anna to dig our way thru all the buses until we found ourselves back at shyam's place...
& THAT ended my first day in Chennai...& what was also my first ever international match at a stadium....one that I will never forget for reasons which are poltically correct..& some..which may not quite be so..!! :D
but it was worth looking forward to the next day...coz ....SAARANG beckoned...!!!
NEXT : The tale of two fests..!!!
Monday, February 19, 2007
A tale of two cities.....& two fests....& two companies....& all that jazz..!!! ( 25th Jan - 19th Feb '07) Vol. - 1
3:15 PM ....25th January, 2007
The screen of the large projector finally came to life with pictures of an uninhabited arctic perma-frosted Tundra...followed by a vast expense which seemed to show nothing but the great blue sea...If the sight of ocean 2-miles deep in water wasnt intimidating enough...The next sequence shows an endless desert which appeared to stand magnificent & yet unconquered by man...If the absence of life was unsettling...We next moved to a rainforest..thick with life to the point where even frogs seemed to have to measure themselves to see if they fit into the less-than-humble dwellings nature had chosen for them...
& then the message goes..
"Here, you have no companions...no friends...nothing to see you through except your own determination..!!!"
( The actual content may have been different..tried my best to reproduce atleast the context in exactness..!!)
But why am i boring you with what obviously is a flick of an episode of a show outta NGC or Discovery Channel..???
The answer: I am NOT..!!!!
These were in fact the opening sequences of Schlumberger's pre-placement presentation at my coll..!!! & as expected....these were more than enough to frighten the wits outta even poeple who had thought of braving the elements for the sweet smell of dough...
After being terrified through 2 hours about how we would have to work in conditions such as 20,000psi...120 degrees C etc etc( ya rite..of course they love their employees..!! :D )...I found myself being shortlisted for the GD & PI...
With an absurd looking Schlumberger tag on my shirt...I kept roaming arnd the hostel & octa to spend the time away until my GD...meanwhile convincing people that the tag dint make me a volunteer of some exhibition....like...Duhhh...!!!!!!!!!
After waiting for what was wayyyyyy past the time a Gd for the first batch of shortlists should have ended...we finally got to know that it was not just a GD...but a "Group-activity" session(whatever that meant.!!) we were expected to brave for no less than 2 hours ..!!!!!!!!!
Once inside Citius (thats the name of the room where the "GD" was held)...hmmmm...the GD on getting your team to survive & lead them from the "dark side (sounds like the Immortal Darkseid doesnt it..?? :P) of the moon" to survival & safety on the basis of the precedence of 15 articles...dint seem all that bad...getting to rank it on your known...discussing (to be read chaating) the survival strategies with ur sub-group mates...& then trying to convince the Schlum guy ki...."Dekho bhaiya...aise hi karna padega warna moon pe humari m** c**d jaayegi..!!!!!!"
By the time the 2 hrs were done...I couldnt help leaving with a feeling of wanting it to continue a lil longer...after all..it wasnt everyday that u realized that magnetic compasses wudnt work on moon coz it dint rotate...or that pistols,signla flares, matches etc wudnt work coz of the absence of atmosphere...nor would solar-powered heating units,radios etc etc work on the dark side of the moon coz....Duhhh..!!! We are on the dark side(I just love the way darkside/darkseid sounds.. :P)remember..?!?!? :D
Luckily (or was it unluckily..?? who cares..?!?) I made it to the final 7 bakras who had to brave the night for the "Schlum Interview" (*boom boom*)..After waiting for what seemed like an eternity...I finally got my turn at 12:10 AM....
The panel that faced me was an Indian guy (I), a young-looking lady from BITS (W), & a Venezualan dude (V)
Here's what unfolded :
Me : Goodmorning Sir, Goodmorning mam (cheeky smile on my face)
W: ahaan..(bearing a very very smug expression..!! :P) Good morning..!!
I: OMG..!!! Is it past 12 already..!?!? (looking at his watch)
(abey dhakkan...2 ghante ka ppt aur 2 ghante ka GD lagayega tho kya der nahi lagega..!?!?)
Me: (Fitting myself into a chair after being asked to)
W: So, whats your name again..??
Me: Shubhankar Bhattacharya mam..!!!
W: aaah....so you are a bengali then..??
Me: Yes (*What else did u expect me to be..!?!? Ethiopian..!?*)
I: okay shubhankar...temme something about yourself which is NOT in the CV...
Me : (*tho CV kis liye maanga phir...!?!? Ghanta maraane ke liye..!?!?*) Yes sir...I was born in..blah-blah...blah-blah.....
I: (looking as if he had been abruptly brought to attention) Whats your GRE score..??
Me: I dint write GRe...
I: Whats your CAT score..??
Me: (without missing a beat) I dint write CAT sir (*Of course not, never even gave it a thought...Btw...what was that exam which I wrote on 19th Nov'06 & got 99.26 %ile in..??*)
I: Then where are u placed..??
Me: BPCL sir...
I: Hmmmm...So u did ur summer internship in ITC...are u the one who got the PPO..??
Me: Yes Sir....But i turned it down..!! (*of course I got the PPO from ITC...& then rejected it na..?? :D *)
I:What..!?!? But why would u do that..!?!?
Me: I wanna make a career in the Oil & gas industry
I: Why Oil & Gas.??
Me: Blah-Blah....
W: But ITC is such a lucrative option..!!!!!
Me: (Acting like my values cudnt bear so much indifference) No...I see a very lucrative future in Oil & Gas..& thats what I wish to be a part of..!!! (Cough Cough..!!!)
I: So why do u want to work with Schlumberger..??? (*Its so comical to see these guys pronounce the finishing akson with the best flair they can attempt*)
Me: Blah-Blah....
I: & what if we dont take u..???
Me: Blah-Blah
V: (*OMG..?!?!? the Venezualan finally decided to talk..!?!?) Whath plaans do u haaf afther 5 eears...???
Me: I dont wish to plan for anything beyond 2-3 years at a time...Blah-Blah...
V: No...but evveeryvone haas some dreams....no..?? You must be wanting a beeeg house...with loths of money...with a beeeeutiful wife...& loths of keeds....yes..???
Me: As of now....its not money that matters to me...its the skill sets that I acquire...blah-Blah...
(*Silly boy....Did u think I applied to Schlumberger because it offers the biggest package on campus by a huge margin..?? Of course not..!!!! It is beacuse...I like to stay trapped in inhospitable conditions where survival itself is a challenge...& checking out lovely looking babes..well...u might as well...check out orkut & p***y for that..!!! Got that Mr. venezualan..??*)
V: (Silently looking at me with a look of new-found respect..)
I: ahem...so whats your favourite subject..??
Me: mass transfer sir...
W: But thats a core chemical engg subject...we dont have any chemical enggrs here
I: No probs...we will just ask u general engg tech
(*saale...phir wohi nautanki..!?!? phir fav subject poocha kis liye..!?!?*)
I: Can u draw the circuit of a torch for me,..??
Me: Err...I have never read that sir...(*Darn it..!!!! yahi poochna tha kya..!?!?*)
I: No probs...why dont u try..?? I am sure u ll get it...
Me: Hmmm....(showed him an elementary circuit consisting of a cell..a bulb & a switch)
I: Hmmm...good good...Now what happens if I give it a 27 V supply..??
Me: (Looking really flustered)
I: Ok then lets move on...plz explain to me the working of a hand pump..!?!
Me: (*Wtf is going on here..!?!?)Errr....I havent studied that either sir...
I: No...give it a try...
Me: (Drew some arbit system like a 4-stroke engine & gave my own arbit fundaes on its working)
I & V : Hmmm.....
I: Ok then...temme one thing that u liked most during our ppt & selction procedure...& one thing that u did not like
Me: Blah-Blah...
I: Ok then..is there something that you would wanna ask us before leaving..!?!?
Me: blah-blah
I,V&W :(after giving the answer) Ok then Shubhankar, nice talking to u...bbyee...
Hmmmmm....I looked into my watch as I came outta the room...it was 12:35Am...definitely not an interview to remember...the fatigue outta the long wait & the un-earthly timings had made it a below-par performance...
Neverthless....wait karke result sun lene me kya jaa raha hai..??
& the result finally came at 1:30 AM..."B--- gets the offer from us...While Shubhankar is on waitlist for now...We shall get back to you hopefully with a confirmation in a couple of months or so.."
Waitlist..!?!??! What the bloody F**K..!??!?!?! I guess something blew in my system upon hearing the news...& my eyesight went hazy & my hearing also became distorted...Fortunately, The Schlum junta never realized it....& they quietly made an exit in the early hours of the morning...
& now that this enormously painful ordeal was done...what am i to make of it..!?!??! Why did it have to be me to bear the screwed-up consequences of a waitlist..!??!?!
OMG...all those horrible memories...all those that I had buried under the thought that "Life is peaceful"...they were back...& I was left to wonder whether life was indeed peaceful....
Now I neither had the right to celebrate with total abandon...Nor did my miserable providence allow me to even cry my sorrows out...
Why had I always had to face such anomalies..???!?!?
Why was I the ITC summer intern who got a gr8 feedback from his guide...but yet did not get the PPO..??
Why did I get 99.26 %ile in CAT & yet end up with no calls..!?!?
Why was I good enough for the Schlumberger junta to praise me...& yet good enough only to deserve a waitlist..??
Why....oh Why...was I always so close to greatness...??? & yet...so painstakingly far..???
The whole of my night was screwed outta any possible sleep with miserable thoughts like these which..as Ram would put it "raped the happiness of my life"....
With morning giving me a chance to once again bury myself in the comfort of Octa...which if not anything else, would atleast allow me to vent my anger, sadness & frustration with some semi-sadist means...
Shyam's call in the morn also reminded me that I had a decision to make...whether to stay disappointed & gloomy...& spend my time in my room....Or pretend that "life is peaceful"...& try to go to Chennai..to watch the Ind-Wi match...& have a blast at Saarang...
Some cheapskates had the nerve to say Congrats where an "All the best" was in order...some m****rf****rs even had the audacity to ask for a treat..(I made a mental note to make sure these guys never get any treat 4m me when I see better days)
It was then that I made up my mind...if not anything else...I would atleast get to escape these asols who make me feel more miserable with their "congrats" & Saarang never did me any harm in any case...
& So i booked my seat in KPN's brand new AC sleeper bus to Chennai...& boy oh boy...this was something new..2 sleeper berths joined together..?!?!?! what if it happens to be a guy & a gal together...??? Hmmmm....& whats this..?? curtains to give yourself the luxury of not becoming an audience to perverted peeping tomboys..?!?! Maaan...if there was ever a bus which gave a frust male the chance to get laid with comfort....this had to be it...!!!!!!!
Unfortunately...the berth(which in fact resembled a comfy bed) attached to mine belonged to a balding guy with a Goatie...!!! (Hmmphhh...!!!!)
As I strected on that amazing bus that night...I realized...that maybe I was being unfair to myself...maybe life was indeed peaceful....after all...My talents hadnt gone unnoticed...Even the most pessimistic would have to agree that I had atleast a 50% chance of getting the confirmed offer from Schlum....Besides, this now also gave me the option to explore other offers coz the waitlist didn't count as my 2nd job...
what the heck....why shud i complain..?? Tommorow I was gonna be in Chennai...I was gonna watch my first ever ODI at Chepauk stadium...I was gonna be witness to Saarang...I would get to see....not non-males..But drop-dead gorgeous babes all around...yes....I told myself that if the big dude up there is/was testing what I am made of, I may yet see better days when He is done...Life...for the time being atleast..was still peaceful..!!!
It was around 4 Am on 27th Jan..& though sleep had never dated me since the night of 24th...It was with these pleasant thoughts that I drifted into a state of pleasant half-consciousness......
(To be Continued..)
The screen of the large projector finally came to life with pictures of an uninhabited arctic perma-frosted Tundra...followed by a vast expense which seemed to show nothing but the great blue sea...If the sight of ocean 2-miles deep in water wasnt intimidating enough...The next sequence shows an endless desert which appeared to stand magnificent & yet unconquered by man...If the absence of life was unsettling...We next moved to a rainforest..thick with life to the point where even frogs seemed to have to measure themselves to see if they fit into the less-than-humble dwellings nature had chosen for them...
& then the message goes..
"Here, you have no companions...no friends...nothing to see you through except your own determination..!!!"
( The actual content may have been different..tried my best to reproduce atleast the context in exactness..!!)
But why am i boring you with what obviously is a flick of an episode of a show outta NGC or Discovery Channel..???
The answer: I am NOT..!!!!
These were in fact the opening sequences of Schlumberger's pre-placement presentation at my coll..!!! & as expected....these were more than enough to frighten the wits outta even poeple who had thought of braving the elements for the sweet smell of dough...
After being terrified through 2 hours about how we would have to work in conditions such as 20,000psi...120 degrees C etc etc( ya rite..of course they love their employees..!! :D )...I found myself being shortlisted for the GD & PI...
With an absurd looking Schlumberger tag on my shirt...I kept roaming arnd the hostel & octa to spend the time away until my GD...meanwhile convincing people that the tag dint make me a volunteer of some exhibition....like...Duhhh...!!!!!!!!!
After waiting for what was wayyyyyy past the time a Gd for the first batch of shortlists should have ended...we finally got to know that it was not just a GD...but a "Group-activity" session(whatever that meant.!!) we were expected to brave for no less than 2 hours ..!!!!!!!!!
Once inside Citius (thats the name of the room where the "GD" was held)...hmmmm...the GD on getting your team to survive & lead them from the "dark side (sounds like the Immortal Darkseid doesnt it..?? :P) of the moon" to survival & safety on the basis of the precedence of 15 articles...dint seem all that bad...getting to rank it on your known...discussing (to be read chaating) the survival strategies with ur sub-group mates...& then trying to convince the Schlum guy ki...."Dekho bhaiya...aise hi karna padega warna moon pe humari m** c**d jaayegi..!!!!!!"
By the time the 2 hrs were done...I couldnt help leaving with a feeling of wanting it to continue a lil longer...after all..it wasnt everyday that u realized that magnetic compasses wudnt work on moon coz it dint rotate...or that pistols,signla flares, matches etc wudnt work coz of the absence of atmosphere...nor would solar-powered heating units,radios etc etc work on the dark side of the moon coz....Duhhh..!!! We are on the dark side(I just love the way darkside/darkseid sounds.. :P)remember..?!?!? :D
Luckily (or was it unluckily..?? who cares..?!?) I made it to the final 7 bakras who had to brave the night for the "Schlum Interview" (*boom boom*)..After waiting for what seemed like an eternity...I finally got my turn at 12:10 AM....
The panel that faced me was an Indian guy (I), a young-looking lady from BITS (W), & a Venezualan dude (V)
Here's what unfolded :
Me : Goodmorning Sir, Goodmorning mam (cheeky smile on my face)
W: ahaan..(bearing a very very smug expression..!! :P) Good morning..!!
I: OMG..!!! Is it past 12 already..!?!? (looking at his watch)
(abey dhakkan...2 ghante ka ppt aur 2 ghante ka GD lagayega tho kya der nahi lagega..!?!?)
Me: (Fitting myself into a chair after being asked to)
W: So, whats your name again..??
Me: Shubhankar Bhattacharya mam..!!!
W: aaah....so you are a bengali then..??
Me: Yes (*What else did u expect me to be..!?!? Ethiopian..!?*)
I: okay shubhankar...temme something about yourself which is NOT in the CV...
Me : (*tho CV kis liye maanga phir...!?!? Ghanta maraane ke liye..!?!?
I: (looking as if he had been abruptly brought to attention) Whats your GRE score..??
Me: I dint write GRe...
I: Whats your CAT score..??
Me: (without missing a beat) I dint write CAT sir (*Of course not, never even gave it a thought...Btw...what was that exam which I wrote on 19th Nov'06 & got 99.26 %ile in..??*)
I: Then where are u placed..??
Me: BPCL sir...
I: Hmmmm...So u did ur summer internship in ITC...are u the one who got the PPO..??
Me: Yes Sir....But i turned it down..!! (*of course I got the PPO from ITC...& then rejected it na..?? :D *)
I:What..!?!? But why would u do that..!?!?
Me: I wanna make a career in the Oil & gas industry
I: Why Oil & Gas.??
Me: Blah-Blah....
W: But ITC is such a lucrative option..!!!!!
Me: (Acting like my values cudnt bear so much indifference) No...I see a very lucrative future in Oil & Gas..& thats what I wish to be a part of..!!! (Cough Cough..!!!)
I: So why do u want to work with Schlumberger..??? (*Its so comical to see these guys pronounce the finishing akson with the best flair they can attempt*)
Me: Blah-Blah....
I: & what if we dont take u..???
Me: Blah-Blah
V: (*OMG..?!?!? the Venezualan finally decided to talk..!?!?) Whath plaans do u haaf afther 5 eears...???
Me: I dont wish to plan for anything beyond 2-3 years at a time...Blah-Blah...
V: No...but evveeryvone haas some dreams....no..?? You must be wanting a beeeg house...with loths of money...with a beeeeutiful wife...& loths of keeds....yes..???
Me: As of now....its not money that matters to me...its the skill sets that I acquire...blah-Blah...
(*Silly boy....Did u think I applied to Schlumberger because it offers the biggest package on campus by a huge margin..?? Of course not..!!!! It is beacuse...I like to stay trapped in inhospitable conditions where survival itself is a challenge...& checking out lovely looking babes..well...u might as well...check out orkut & p***y for that..!!! Got that Mr. venezualan..??*)
V: (Silently looking at me with a look of new-found respect..)
I: ahem...so whats your favourite subject..??
Me: mass transfer sir...
W: But thats a core chemical engg subject...we dont have any chemical enggrs here
I: No probs...we will just ask u general engg tech
(*saale...phir wohi nautanki..!?!? phir fav subject poocha kis liye..!?!?*)
I: Can u draw the circuit of a torch for me,..??
Me: Err...I have never read that sir...(*Darn it..!!!! yahi poochna tha kya..!?!?*)
I: No probs...why dont u try..?? I am sure u ll get it...
Me: Hmmm....(showed him an elementary circuit consisting of a cell..a bulb & a switch)
I: Hmmm...good good...Now what happens if I give it a 27 V supply..??
Me: (Looking really flustered)
I: Ok then lets move on...plz explain to me the working of a hand pump..!?!
Me: (*Wtf is going on here..!?!?)Errr....I havent studied that either sir...
I: No...give it a try...
Me: (Drew some arbit system like a 4-stroke engine & gave my own arbit fundaes on its working)
I & V : Hmmm.....
I: Ok then...temme one thing that u liked most during our ppt & selction procedure...& one thing that u did not like
Me: Blah-Blah...
I: Ok then..is there something that you would wanna ask us before leaving..!?!?
Me: blah-blah
I,V&W :(after giving the answer) Ok then Shubhankar, nice talking to u...bbyee...
Hmmmmm....I looked into my watch as I came outta the room...it was 12:35Am...definitely not an interview to remember...the fatigue outta the long wait & the un-earthly timings had made it a below-par performance...
Neverthless....wait karke result sun lene me kya jaa raha hai..??
& the result finally came at 1:30 AM..."B--- gets the offer from us...While Shubhankar is on waitlist for now...We shall get back to you hopefully with a confirmation in a couple of months or so.."
Waitlist..!?!??! What the bloody F**K..!??!?!?! I guess something blew in my system upon hearing the news...& my eyesight went hazy & my hearing also became distorted...Fortunately, The Schlum junta never realized it....& they quietly made an exit in the early hours of the morning...
& now that this enormously painful ordeal was done...what am i to make of it..!?!??! Why did it have to be me to bear the screwed-up consequences of a waitlist..!??!?!
OMG...all those horrible memories...all those that I had buried under the thought that "Life is peaceful"...they were back...& I was left to wonder whether life was indeed peaceful....
Now I neither had the right to celebrate with total abandon...Nor did my miserable providence allow me to even cry my sorrows out...
Why had I always had to face such anomalies..???!?!?
Why was I the ITC summer intern who got a gr8 feedback from his guide...but yet did not get the PPO..??
Why did I get 99.26 %ile in CAT & yet end up with no calls..!?!?
Why was I good enough for the Schlumberger junta to praise me...& yet good enough only to deserve a waitlist..??
Why....oh Why...was I always so close to greatness...??? & yet...so painstakingly far..???
The whole of my night was screwed outta any possible sleep with miserable thoughts like these which..as Ram would put it "raped the happiness of my life"....
With morning giving me a chance to once again bury myself in the comfort of Octa...which if not anything else, would atleast allow me to vent my anger, sadness & frustration with some semi-sadist means...
Shyam's call in the morn also reminded me that I had a decision to make...whether to stay disappointed & gloomy...& spend my time in my room....Or pretend that "life is peaceful"...& try to go to Chennai..to watch the Ind-Wi match...& have a blast at Saarang...
Some cheapskates had the nerve to say Congrats where an "All the best" was in order...some m****rf****rs even had the audacity to ask for a treat..(I made a mental note to make sure these guys never get any treat 4m me when I see better days)
It was then that I made up my mind...if not anything else...I would atleast get to escape these asols who make me feel more miserable with their "congrats" & Saarang never did me any harm in any case...
& So i booked my seat in KPN's brand new AC sleeper bus to Chennai...& boy oh boy...this was something new..2 sleeper berths joined together..?!?!?! what if it happens to be a guy & a gal together...??? Hmmmm....& whats this..?? curtains to give yourself the luxury of not becoming an audience to perverted peeping tomboys..?!?! Maaan...if there was ever a bus which gave a frust male the chance to get laid with comfort....this had to be it...!!!!!!!
Unfortunately...the berth(which in fact resembled a comfy bed) attached to mine belonged to a balding guy with a Goatie...!!! (Hmmphhh...!!!!)
As I strected on that amazing bus that night...I realized...that maybe I was being unfair to myself...maybe life was indeed peaceful....after all...My talents hadnt gone unnoticed...Even the most pessimistic would have to agree that I had atleast a 50% chance of getting the confirmed offer from Schlum....Besides, this now also gave me the option to explore other offers coz the waitlist didn't count as my 2nd job...
what the heck....why shud i complain..?? Tommorow I was gonna be in Chennai...I was gonna watch my first ever ODI at Chepauk stadium...I was gonna be witness to Saarang...I would get to see....not non-males..But drop-dead gorgeous babes all around...yes....I told myself that if the big dude up there is/was testing what I am made of, I may yet see better days when He is done...Life...for the time being atleast..was still peaceful..!!!
It was around 4 Am on 27th Jan..& though sleep had never dated me since the night of 24th...It was with these pleasant thoughts that I drifted into a state of pleasant half-consciousness......
(To be Continued..)
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Yay..!!!! I am a blogger too..!!!!
Hmmmm....well..Did I know this morning that i was also gonna become one of the zillions of bloggers I looked up to as eccentric & possibly insanely ingenius freaks..??? Of course not..!!!!
I couldnt even look beyond the toppings of the several 8" domino's pizzas i was devouring..!!!!
But hey...here I am...after being fooled by Bhagzz into believing that I cud actually write something interesting.....& so...after conquering all inconceivable frontiers on Orkut (a corny siren in the background)...I m here to bore the world with my blogs too...hahahaha...!!!!
Expect more blockbuster blogs pretty soon that are guaranteed to bore u to death (or atleast to drowsiness..!!!)..!!!!
I couldnt even look beyond the toppings of the several 8" domino's pizzas i was devouring..!!!!
But hey...here I am...after being fooled by Bhagzz into believing that I cud actually write something interesting.....& so...after conquering all inconceivable frontiers on Orkut (a corny siren in the background)...I m here to bore the world with my blogs too...hahahaha...!!!!
Expect more blockbuster blogs pretty soon that are guaranteed to bore u to death (or atleast to drowsiness..!!!)..!!!!
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